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On occasion, it even creeps into the news, like this story.
I don’t doubt he loved me in the beginning — but once his family knew, I suspect they made it clear that there was no future in what we had.
Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her.
As Leong, the author and UCLA professor put it: “Asian men can kick butt, but they can’t have a kiss.” It gets a little more personal in blogs, such as posts titled Us Bitter, Bitter Asian Men or Sucks to be an Asian male. I’ve had Chinese guys refuse me because they felt, as a traditional man, they could never see themselves married to a foreign girl.
However, the subtext is often that foreign women are a dangerous choice — too casual, the temptress, etc — or could not accept a Chinese way of life.
Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair.
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There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me.
Still, despite the odds, sterotypes and other barriers, it does happen that Chinese men and foreign women get together.
It happened for me — and a growing number of other women, including bloggers such as the Local Dialect, The Downtown Diner, and Wo Ai Ni.
Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent.
And if they are to leave China to go to her country, they will face even more obstacles to earning money — language, culture, prejudices.