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Better yet, join a softball league -- you're sure to find a wide array of physically fit boys of summer. You'll find them right up on stage: clusters of men, pouring their hearts out, trying to impress you. Tortured artists are dazzling on stage, but can be a drag in real life. "Strike up a conversation around your mutual business interests, then ask 'How did you get to where you are today?On the other hand, a nice middle manager (during the day) indulging in some innocent rock-star fantasies (by night) could be just the ticket. ' You'll learn about his path of life so far, including education and goals," says Nina Atwood, author of Be Your Own Dating Service: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Relationships (Henry Holt, 1996).

I am grateful to have such loyal readers who contribute great questions to me.

The big drawback of music clubs, of course, is that the noise level can make it hard to hold a conversation. Just be sure to check his left hand for a ring or tell-tale tan line. While the Red Cross does not release statistical data on the male/female ratio of blood donors, any guy who would give up his own body fluids to help out a stranger has got to be a quality date.

"Business events often include a certain number of men who are looking for an extra-marital fling," says Atwood. And even if you don't meet an altruistic hottie, you've helped save a life. After you've made your deposit, hang out by the snack table and ask a light-headed cutie whether he recommends Oreos or Cheese-Its as his strength-builder of choice. You'll find a slightly geeky crowd here, but that's OK.

She took acting lessons, joined a book club, and became devoted to yoga. My new pursuits nourished my soul, but I have to say they did zip for my love life." Marla realized that if she wanted to start dating again, she'd have to think a bit more strategically.

The result: She met tons of smart, funny and fascinating... Because contrary to popular opinion, men are out there.

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